why iphones gotta take two million years to turn back on after they die like you plug em in and you’re all ready to start texting again but they’re like “nope. i gotta take some time for myself. figure out who i am. you hurt me too much the last time. let me think.”
if you tickle me it’s either going to lead to kissing or an extreme act of violence
when your next victim finally comes into the stall
This is fucked up. I’m crying.
aw no, dont cry. come sit down lets talk about it
who wears the pants in the relationship? well preferably no one will be wearing pants
I was born at an incredibly young age
i told this to my english teacher and she almost kicked me out of the class